054 - How to get unstuck from financial behaviours we don’t want to be in

CONNECT WITH SHARON

Your relationship with money is the #1 predictor of your financial success.

Money can make you feel free, abundant, at ease or powerful and money can also make you feel trapped in scarcity, fear of losing it, feel ill at ease, and powerless.

It all depends on how you relate with money.

l freedom, peace of mind and security don’t lie in accumulating more wealth alone. You can choose how you want to relate with money from now on to change the trajectory of your financial lives.

Find your reason for wanting to improve your financial situation that will bring you through the days where you really don’t feel like doing what it takes to develop a healthier relationship with money.

Until we take an honest look at the real nature of our relationship with money, we’ll continue to be stuck in patterns of behaviour and circumstances in our financial lives that we don’t want to be in.

You need to understand your relationship with money from a psychological, emotional, mental, spiritual and physical perspective. Our relationship with money and therefore our financial success doesn’t only involve the mental and logical side of budgeting, investing or making a financial plan. It involves taking care of yourself as an entire human being and that’s why we need to look at you as a person holistically, not just from one logical dimension. 

Listen to this episode to learn more about what having a relationship with money means! 

If you’re interested to learn more about yourself and your relationship with money, I’d like to invite you to join my program, Mindfulness In Money. I go through a 12-step framework to guide you through the process of understanding your relationship with money from a psychological, emotional, mental, spiritual and physical perspective. 

This is a 12-week program where I go through each of these steps in LIVE sessions in a class. Besides going through the 12 steps, there’s also small group discussion, hands-on experiential activities and feedback from me and fellow students so you’re never alone on this journey. 

The next class will be from January 2022 and runs up to March 2022. Registration is now open and you can find out more at https://twopointzero.me/program

I would love to meet you in the program!

https://www.linkedin.com/in/sharonsinghsidhu/

Transcript

Hello again!

Today’s topic is about how to break the cycle of repeated financial behaviours we don’t want to be stuck in. 

To do this, you’ve got to first understand that your relationship with money is the #1 predictor of your financial success.

So what does having a relationship with money mean?

Like any other relationship you have - with your partner / spouse, kids, friends, parents, family, community, career / business, food, exercise and so on, having a relationship with money is an ongoing, dynamic process. 

You can have a healthy and empowering relationship with money or an unhealthy and disempowering one.

Money can make you feel free, abundant, at ease or powerful and money can also make you feel trapped in scarcity, fear of losing it, feel ill at ease, and powerless.

It all depends on how you relate with money.

When you think about money and how it’s shown up in your childhood, what do you distinctly remember? What are the events, people and feelings that come up?

Were there distinct incidents that you recall? Who were the players in that scene? What did they say? What were the emotions around what was happening? What did you conclude about money from that incident?

The state of our financial life is in large part a result of our relationships with money.

Many studies have now shown that money affects us in many ways. For example:

How we are with money predicts if we are likely to end up divorced. In particular, people who base their self-worth from their financial status have less satisfying romantic relationships.

Once we are able to take care of our essential needs like food, shelter and safety, more money doesn’t make us happier. In fact, everyone tends to go back to a baseline of happiness once these essential needs are met.

And what was once considered a luxury becomes a basic need after we attain it. You may be able to relate - do you recall something that you once wanted so badly and after you worked hard to get it and eventually did, over time, it just became mundane? This is the classic ‘taking things for granted’ syndrome that’s part of human nature.

If we consider all of these studies, then the conclusion becomes clear.

Financial freedom, peace of mind and security don’t lie in accumulating more wealth alone.

Of course, we need some money to take care of our basic needs. And even then, what exactly are our true, basic needs since these also shift over time?

Why are some people able to be happy with so much less while others who seem to have much more money are so miserable?

The search for the answer to these questions led me back to how we relate with money, which of course has roots in many different factors - our upbringing, our society, our surrounding environment, our education and our life experiences.

But that also means we can choose how we want to relate with money from now on to change the trajectory of our financial lives.

If you look back at how you've been relating with money and where that’s led you, does it bring you joy and fulfilment?

Or does it bring you angst, worry and stress?

For me, it was the latter and that’s why I made a decision years ago to change my relationship with money.

I decided I would no longer let my worries about not having enough money affect my relationship with loved ones, my own sense of self-worth or allow money to entrap me.

This may sound simple but doing it day in day out takes self-awareness of our thoughts, feelings and actions relating to money.

It also takes consistent action. To do this, I have daily practices I do regardless of whether I feel like it or not, because I know it’s what helps me build my strength and resilience when I meet with challenging times. 

To be able to stay consistent requires a clear vision and purpose of why I’m doing all this. For me, I know this version of myself enables me to be a better person and role model for my kids, and for my overall well-being. So that’s why I do it.

So find your reason for wanting to improve your financial situation that will bring you through the days where you really don’t feel like doing what it takes to develop a healthier relationship with money.

Most people will go through life unaware of their relationship with money. It’s this unconsciousness that gives money its strong hold and power over people’s actions and behaviours, even if they think they know why they do what they do.

Until we take an honest look at the real nature of our relationship with money, we’ll continue to be stuck in patterns of behaviour and circumstances in our financial lives that we don’t want to be in.

This self-understanding takes time and requires you to be open-minded and willing to see yourself for who you really are. Sometimes, doing this requires you to see things beyond your own perspective. This is where having a community of like-minded people who can support you as you go through this process can be very powerful in helping to shift your perspective.

Our relationship with money and therefore our financial success doesn’t only involve the mental and logical side of budgeting, investing or making a financial plan. It involves taking care of yourself as an entire human being and that’s why we need to look at you as a person holistically, not just from one logical dimension.

If you’re interested to learn more about yourself and your relationship with money, then I’d like to invite you to join my Mindfulness in Money Program. 

This is a 12-week program with weekly live classes and coaching with me, hands-on experiential activities with your fellow students designed to equip you with the skills to take leadership of all aspects of your financial life - mentally, emotionally, psychologically, physically and spiritually. 

I’ll be sharing the 12 steps of my holistic mindfulness and practical money management system to help you stop worrying about money so that you can create a life of financial confidence, peace of mind and freedom without the deprivation, shame, guilt or putting your life on hold.

This program is only available a few times a year so sign up now.

You can find out more by going to twopointzero.me/program, that’s TWO-POINT-ZERO-DOT-ME-SLASH-PROGRAM

I look forward to seeing you in the program!

STAY UPDATED!

Receive free updates with fresh content and all new guests.

SHARON SIDHU
The Financially Free Woman Podcast Host

ABOUT SHARON & THE FINANCIALLY FREE WOMAN PODCAST

The Financially Free Woman Podcast was launched in November 2020 during the COVID-19 pandemic to share the stories of everyday people making a living doing what they love. While training her students in leadership and mental resilience, Sharon noticed the rising level of financial stress and anxiety experienced by many of her students. It dawn on Sharon that this was an opportunity for her to share how she overcame her own financial anxieties triggered by her personal experience with a 6-figure business debt and being let go from her job as the family's primary breadwinner. She began sharing everything she learned about mastering not just the practical side of money but also her mindset around money. Through this work, Sharon began meeting and building a community of women creating and living their dream lives. The Financially Free Woman Podcast is a collection of stories, practical tips and strategies to help you discover your passions, and use them to make a lucrative living. Imagine a life where you spend your time doing what you love and getting paid well for it! That's exactly what these women featured on the podcast are doing and they tell you how! Get inspired and start creating your own your dream life!

SEE ALL PREVIOUS EPISODES

See previous episodes by selecting your preferred options below!