057 - 8 Ways To Stop Worrying About Not Having Enough Money

CONNECT WITH SHARON

In today’s episode, I share the 8 ways I learned to stop worrying about not having enough money. This scarcity thinking that I’d run out of money even when I was objectively earning good money used to keep me awake and caused tensions in my relationships.

When I started implementing these in my life, I realised that my thoughts are just thoughts. And since my thoughts create my reality, I could change my reality by changing my thoughts. Sometimes that’s easier said than done. We need to take action and gather the evidence to prove it to ourselves.

I go into more detail about how to do this in today’s podcast episode.

P.S. Book a FREE 30-minute ‘GET YOUR FINANCES ORGANISED’ AUDIT call and I’ll show you the steps you need to take to stop procrastinating and take action to get clear and confident about your finances so you can effectively create and make progress towards the life you want! Go to: https://calendly.com/sharonsinghsidhu/organised or my bio for the link to book your free call.

Resources

Episode 046 - Why Giving Up Is A Great Way To Help You Get What You Want

Episode 056 - The Real Purpose of Goals

Free Guide - The Complete Guide to Financial Freedom (Women’s Edition)

Free Bookmark - 8 Ways To Stop Worrying About Not Having Enough Money

The 12 Universal Laws - Mind Body Green

https://www.linkedin.com/in/sharonsinghsidhu/

Transcript

Welcome back to another episode of The Financially Free Woman Podcast.

If you’re new here, I want to welcome you!

I’m Sharon and I’m a Mindful Money Coach. I help working moms stop feeling scared and worried about money to become financially confident, courageous and free, right here, right now.

You can learn more about my unconventional and holistic approach to money by downloading my free guide at twopointzero.me/guide. I share my Financial Freedom Framework with you in that guide and the steps you can take to live a financially confident, courageous and free life today, no matter where you’re at. Once again, you can download that guide at:

TWO POINT ZERO DOT ME FORWARD SLASH G-U-I-D-E.

Now, let’s get started!

Today, I wanted to share what I wish I knew back when I used to wake up in the middle of the night worried about not having enough money to provide my family with food, shelter and maintain our lifestyle. If you’re heard my story, you may be familiar with how I found myself face to face with a 6-figure business debt as an unwilling breadwinner for our family. If not, or if you’d like to find out more, please visit my website at twopointzero.me/about.

Since those dark days, I’ve grown a little bit and here’s what I would say to my former self or anyone who’s in that place right now where you’re staying up at night, worrying about how you’re going to make it all work.

Here are the 8 things you can do to get yourself out of that situation and towards what you want your life to become.

1. GET THE FACTS.

We often end up entertaining our worrying thoughts because we don’t have a clear picture of how things actually are. Our brains need something to do. If you don’t give it something specific to work on, it will go find something on its own to occupy itself. That’s just how our brain works. So you might as well put this powerful computer of yours to use in a way that will help you instead of hinder you. The way to do that is to get really clear about your current financial situation that’s causing you all that worry.

Stop procrastinating, and make the time to get everything about your finances down on paper. Even if it takes you a few weeks to do this, make this your project to work on. Put your brain in charge as the project manager and get EVERYTHING down on paper. When I say paper, I don’t necessarily mean it literally. What I mean is to get everything about your money organised in ONE place. That could literally be pen and paper, or an Excel/Google sheet or an app.

Once you’ve got everything about your money down in one place, take the time to look at it. Whether it’s good, bad or ugly, remember that whatever stories you’re now telling yourself about your financial situation is just YOUR perspective of it, and just your ONE view of it. 

There are probably several other perspectives or views and conclusions someone else looking at it might draw.

2. CLARIFY WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.

Another major reason why we end up getting worried about money is confusion. I know I used to have the fear or appearing stupid by asking what I thought were really basic questions. This was something that plagued me throughout my school years. The fear of failure was and still is real to me. Ironically that’s what happens the more ‘successful’ (in air quotes) you are on the outside. Pride or the fear of looking like you don’t know what you should know gets in the way of your learning and growth. And that really doesn’t help you, it just buries you deeper and deeper in confusion as one question compounds on another, then another, until at some point, you just give up, ignore it or pretend your problem doesn’t exist.

It’s the same with our money. There are no stupid questions, or at least that’s what you have to tell yourself. Put your pride aside and ask for help. But ask your questions to the right people okay? If you don’t know how bank charges or credit card charges work, ask your bank. If you want to know how a specific investment tool works, ask your financial advisor. Remember you have to differentiate facts from opinions. When it comes to money and investing, everyone has an opinion about it. But it’s ultimately your money and your opinion and decision that matters.

Which brings me to my next point.

3. TAKE 100% OWNERSHIP.

Give up blaming and ‘shoulding’ other people or events. A lot of our pain and suffering comes from expecting other people or some external factor to take care of us. 

‘How could they do that?’

‘He should do more for the family.’

‘She should pay me more for what I do!’

‘The government should understand, it’s all because of the pandemic.’

A lot of my anguish and resentment came from expecting my husband to make more money, my bosses to pay me more, for life to be easier, for things to cost less and on and on. I was blaming and ‘shoulding’ everything and everyone. But that got me nowhere, only more pain, suffering, anger and resentment. The result? More sleepless nights, worry and no improvement in my financial life.

Instead, take 100% ownership. When I say that, I don’t mean ignore or be oblivious to the facts of what’s happening. Yes, things have happened, people have disappointed you, things aren’t the way you like them to be. Fine, acknowledge that. But stop wasting your time and energy blaming. Let go, accept and move on. Which is my next point.

4. LET GO & ACCEPT.

This is my favourite one because it’s what’s made all the difference for me. 

I talked about it in more detail in episode 046 and why I think sometimes giving up is a great way to get what you want. I’ll link the episode in the show notes.

I’ve found that thinking of letting go and accepting in terms of ‘giving up’ in a sense has helped me. When you give up on something, you finally stop allowing whatever it was that you really wanted to have a hold or control over you. You tell yourself it doesn’t matter to you anymore. You’ve made the decision you won’t let that bother you anymore. Depending on what you’re trying to let go of and accept, it can be quick or it can take a long time. 

If you’re familiar with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ 5 stages of grief, you’ll know we need to go through the stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression before we get to acceptance. Acceptance can be difficult to get to, it takes time and it’s a process of grieving. 

When you decide to take 100% ownership for your financial life, you’ll need to give yourself time to grief, to let go of all the blaming and shoulding you’ve been holding on to, almost like you’re grieving their death, before you can move on to acceptance. If you want to be financially free, this is a necessary process. It’s hard to honestly take 100% ownership of your financial life and take the actions you must when you haven’t truly accepted that your financial life is really your responsibility.

And that’s why the next point is so important.

5. HAVE FAITH & CONFIDENCE THAT YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT.

The reason why it can be hard to let go of blaming and shoulding others and to take 100% ownership for our financial life is because we don’t have the belief and faith that we can do it ourselves. We’re afraid that we will make mistakes or not know how to earn enough money to take care of ourselves and our loved ones. Ultimately, we don’t have faith in ourselves that no matter how difficult a situation is, we’ll figure it out. We don’t have the confidence in our own capabilities. If you fall into this category, I want to tell you now that IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!

We don’t just have our hang ups out of the blue. It takes years and years of conditioning for us to become who we are today. And who we are today has created our reality. Which means that if you want to change your reality or your financial situation, you have to become a different sort of person, which is going to take time first to unlearn some of the things you’ve been conditioned to believe in and recondition yourself with some new, more empowering beliefs, including the faith and confidence that no matter what happens, you can figure it out.

I’ve interviewed many women on this podcast who have created huge financial success for themselves and who do what they love, and this is the common thing I’ve noticed in all of them. It’s their faith and confidence in themselves that even in the depths of their fear and doubt, they were somehow able to believe in themselves and work through the mess to get to the other side.

And that’s why you have to know what’s on the ‘other side’ you’re trying to get to. Which is our next point.

6. CREATE A VISION & ACTION PLAN TO GET THERE.

What’s your vision for your financial life? Or your life for that matter? You’ve got to get below the shallow answer of just wanting more money. Most of us know why we want more money - to save up for our retirement or healthcare needs, our kids’ college education, to buy a house, get married, take care of our elderly parents or travel.

But why? What does doing all that mean to you? Sometimes we need to ask a few more ‘why’s’ before we get to the root of what really matters to us. For me, I want financial security so I can feel safe and be a good mom who provides the best for her kids. Why? Because my family and our kids are the most important priority to me. Another really important priority for me is the ability to have enjoyable experiences with my family while we’re able to. So besides providing a good life for them, I also want to enjoy experiences with them, so I want the money so we can travel and explore new places together.

Once you have a vision of why you want what you want, then the actions you take to get there become clear. These actions are the broad goals and specific tasks you need to take to get closer to your vision. Having a vision guides you to take actions or course correct when you encounter a fork in the road. When your direction is clear, you can then enjoy the ride, which is what my next point is about.

7. DETACH & BE PRESENT FOR THE RIDE.

You must have heard that it’s all about the journey and not the destination or some variation of it. The reason why many people worry and stress out about money is because we’re anxious about some unwanted future scenario that we believe is actually going to happen. 

You feel financially insecure because you’re worried you won’t have enough money for retirement, to send your kids to college, to buy a house, to get married or any of the reasons I mentioned earlier about why you want to change your current financial situation.

Being worried and anxious about a future you have absolutely no control over is a sure way to guarantee you’ll never stop worrying! But that also doesn’t mean you throw all caution to the wind and live recklessly today. So what do you do?

I’ve found that the way to stop worrying and find some peace is to detach and just be present in this moment. This means that we still make plans and take action towards our vision of what we want our financial future to be, but beyond taking those actions, you have to detach from the outcome of what you expect to happen. Because the truth is that you can do everything and things may still not work out the way you want them to. Holding on so tightly to how you want everything to work out the way you want them to is going back to point 4 about letting go and accepting. 

But when you can detach yourself from these outcomes you so desperately want, you can then be truly present in the moment right now. You experience the present fully - whether it’s good, bad or ugly. That’s what it means to live fully. You’re fully living in the present, not caught up in the past or worried about the future. You’re just here now. A lot of people think happiness is about feeling good and happy all the time. But you and I know that’s not real. 

The real deal is joy. Joy is where you can be going through painful times, experience all the pain, and know that this pain you’re going through now, being in the present, is part of living fully. You can accept it. And remember, accepting doesn’t mean being passive about it. Especially when an injustice has been done. I’m not saying just sitting there and not doing anything to change the situation. On the contrary, I think accepting is exactly what you need if you want to change and improve your situation. But fighting and resisting it every step of the way is not going to get you anywhere. It’s just going to exhaust and deplete you, and what good are you then? How can you change anything then? Be strategic in how you play this game okay?

Finally,...

8. TRUST IN THE UNIVERSAL ORDER.

Okay, so this is another one of my favourites. I think it explains why I’ve always been so fascinated with religion and spirituality. Deep down, I’ve always known there’s a bigger force at work. In my younger years, I tried to find what this ‘bigger force’ was through religion. But I didn’t find my answers there. In recent years, I learned about the Universal Laws and this has been what I’ve been learning and applying to my life, including my financial life and it’s really helped me find the peace, security and safety I’ve been looking for. And it begins from within you.

There are 12 Universal Laws and actually more and variations of it. I like the 12 Universal Laws and Mind Body Green does a good job of giving a summary of each. I’ll link to the article in the show notes because I don’t want to go into it here. 

In a nutshell, there is a Universal order and intelligence to life. You know this, it isn’t hard to understand. Just look around you at Nature and Animals. If you keep asking ‘why’, eventually, you still get to a question mark. If you really want to get into a rabbit hole, start exploring the Universe. My son is into astronomy and astrophotography lately and we invested in a couple of telescopes that enable us to see way beyond the planets at Dark Skies and nebulae. It just leaves me in awe looking at these and convinced there is a higher intelligence at work beyond the dimensions we can humanly see and understand. If you’re religious, you’ll call this God or however you address your God, but even if you’re not, knowing that there is intelligence and order beyond your comprehension can bring a lot of peace. 

If you look at the natural order, you’ll notice the tendency is for growth and connection or interdepencies, there’s a cycle, a rhythm, and balance to everything. And since us human beings are part of this Universe, it means we’re also subject to these Universal Laws and order. Working against them just brings more pain and suffering, while working and flowing with them brings a sense of peace, of ease, of feeling natural about it. So to stop worrying about not having enough money, you have to work with the Universal Laws and the natural flow of these.

So there you have it, the 8 ways to stop worrying about not having enough money that I learned over the years. To summarise, here there are again:

  • GET THE FACTS. Get everything about your money down on paper.
  • CLARIFY WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. Put your pride aside and ask for help.
  • TAKE 100% OWNERSHIP. Give up blaming and shoulding other people or events.
  • LET GO & ACCEPT. And don’t confuse acceptance with passivity.
  • HAVE FAITH & CONFIDENCE THAT YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. You’re good enough and whatever you need to learn, you will and you can.
  • CREATE A VISION & ACTION PLAN TO GET THERE. Set broad goals and do specific tasks to achieve your vision.
  • DETACH & BE PRESENT FOR THE RIDE. Be present for the good, the bad and the ugly.
  • TRUST IN THE UNIVERSAL ORDER. Everything in the Universe, including your financial life, has its place and timing.

If you liked what I shared today, I’ve made these 8 points into an infographic you can download, and make into bookmarks or a small card to keep handy with you to remind yourself each time you start worrying about money. You can download it at https://twopointzero.me/stopworrying. That’s:

TWO POINT ZERO DOT ME FORWARD SLASH S-T-O-P-W-O-R-R-Y-I-N-G (spelled in one word, without spaces).

Thanks so much for listening and I’ll talk to you again next week. Take care!

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SHARON SIDHU
The Financially Free Woman Podcast Host

ABOUT SHARON & THE FINANCIALLY FREE WOMAN PODCAST

The Financially Free Woman Podcast was launched in November 2020 during the COVID-19 pandemic to share the stories of everyday people making a living doing what they love. While training her students in leadership and mental resilience, Sharon noticed the rising level of financial stress and anxiety experienced by many of her students. It dawn on Sharon that this was an opportunity for her to share how she overcame her own financial anxieties triggered by her personal experience with a 6-figure business debt and being let go from her job as the family's primary breadwinner. She began sharing everything she learned about mastering not just the practical side of money but also her mindset around money. Through this work, Sharon began meeting and building a community of women creating and living their dream lives. The Financially Free Woman Podcast is a collection of stories, practical tips and strategies to help you discover your passions, and use them to make a lucrative living. Imagine a life where you spend your time doing what you love and getting paid well for it! That's exactly what these women featured on the podcast are doing and they tell you how! Get inspired and start creating your own your dream life!

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